A Half-Assed Recap of the 72nd Golden Globe Awards

I inadvertently ended up watching the show and stopped an hour before it finished (but followed along via IMDb’s Facebook updates). Here are some of my scattered thoughts in list format.

1. Awkward Waltz

Christoph Waltz looked genuinely uncomfortable after Amy Adams went overboard on a compliment spree addressing his various positive attributes. She even said, “Your wife is a lucky gal.”

I don’t know if his wife was there, but I sure would have liked to see the look on her face. Unless Waltz and his wife have a relationship built on a foundation of rock, I think Amy Adams just did more damage to a couple’s dynamics than the avalanche in Force Majeure.

2. Thug Life

 

3. Murray, McDormand, and Lame Speeches

There were moments when I thought Bill Murray was going to fall asleep. Frances McDormand, on the other hand, looked like she was mentally planning the best way to murder all the people who went up to get their awards and followed the same mundane speech outline.

And really, can you blame her? During the two hours I watched, the best speech was probably Billy Bob Thornton’s when he emphasized how people can get in trouble for anything they say and, as a result, he was just going to say thanks and leave it at that.

It was amusing on its own but ended up being very timely, considering Jeremy Renner had just cracked a joke about Jennifer Lopez’s “globes.”

4. Dozens of North Korea Jokes

Even in Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s beginning monologue, there were a handful of North Korea jokes that mostly made fun of The Interview (which is apparently not a very good flick). However, as the night went on, the jokes just kept coming and coming, to the extent that it looked less like good-natured mockery and more like an angry reaction stemming from fear over the Sony hacking incident and whatnot.

I have to admit, I did briefly have a good time imagining the jokes coming at the expense of another country – a country that could potentially do real damage. I mean, can you imagine if all those jokes were aimed at Russia?

And then, in an odd coincidence, Hollywood cronies just started to get serious radiation poisoning?

5. Such Woman, Such Strong

Is it just me, or was there an overwhelming theme revolving around strong women? Yeah, I get it: Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Julianne Moore, Jessica Chastain, and all the other actresses did great.

But when speech after speech made some kind of reference to women and how strong they are… I mean, it’s just another reason why people like Frances McDormand looked borderline psychotic.

Thank goodness for Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin when they went up to the mike and proceeded to deliver a perfect parody that really shined a light on how ridiculous it is to beat people over the head with such a generically positive statement focusing on a specific group of people.

They talked about how proud they were for men and their progress in the world of humor. Again: it was really funny because it just sounded so outrageous to see the script flipped. Great work, ladies.

6. The Movies I Saw

As I noted in my 2014 movie power rankings, I saw a pretty hefty number of movies… but also missed a bunch of really good films as well. While I was watching the Golden Globes, I didn’t have a whole lot to cheer for.

One of the best films of the year, Whiplash, was only nominated for one award. Fortunately, J.K. Simmons won. Birdman and The Grand Budapest Hotel did quite well, although I’m still surprised that Grand Budapest won Best Comedy or Musical over Birdman.

Interstellar was only nominated for Best Original Score. It lost to The Theory of Everything. Whatever.

The LEGO Movie lost to How to Train Your Dragon 2. Fine then.

So yeah. There’s a reason I didn’t really care about watching it. And yes, I know I didn’t really talk about the TV shows that were nominated/won.

Well… we’ll see how the Oscars go next!

 

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