Some knucklehead really thought I’d give up Anthony Davis for Carlos “Screaming Lunatic” Boozer. Fortunately Michael Westen from Burn Notice is back to help me with this tactical situation.
Believe it or not, there are scenarios where Boozer would be more valuable than Anthony Davis. For example – and this is the most plausible one I’m going to offer, just FYI – Davis might get injured for half the season, never get into a rhythm, and underperform.
Boozer, on the other hand, is joining a crummy Lakers squad that is going to feature a Kobe Bryant coming back from a series of injuries. They let Pau Gasol go and Steve Nash is kind of a bum now. There’s a real chance Boozer might average 14-19 points, 7-10 rebounds, and 9-30 defensive mistakes per game.
Less plausible scenarios involve the following: spontaneous hurricane destroys New Orleans, Anthony Davis gets kidnapped by the bad guy from True Detective, and/or the world just flips.
Yeah… I’m going to assume rejecting that trade offer was the smart move here. As if it isn’t obvious enough already, Michael Westen is here to back me up and tell me exactly what Carlos Boozer’s fantasy owner is trying to do.
You can take it from here, Mike.
Let me put down my yogurt first. And Fi. I don’t know why you flew all the way to Miami to ask for help on this fantasy basketball problem, but I’ll help because I owe you one.
Barrett’s note: I saved him from expired yogurt. No big deal.
When an operative enters negotiations to exchange information or assets, it can often be more about the psychology than anything else. The world of espionage and black ops is shadowy, with deception lurking around every corner.
Lowballing is one form of deception used to gage the enemy, which is what a certain league member did by offering Carlos Boozer for Anthony Davis. Such a lopsided offer can also insert doubt into the operative, rendering his decisions less effective in the future.
An experienced operative will know that overthinking the tactical situation is exactly what the enemy wants. Going through every single option can be just as dangerous as blindly racing towards one goal, and the best operatives use that knowledge to their advantage, both to protect themselves and to gain an edge in the field.
In this case, there’s no chance this trade would work for you. Unless Anthony Davis gets injured for the season, or some other unfortunate scenario plays out, you would be wise to keep Carlos Boozer away from you.
The best operatives also know when to keep things simple. Lowballing is deadly because it causes doubt about doubt. An operative needs to keep a calm head in that situation, or will most likely end up dead.
Or, in this case, just get a really bad deal.
Holy shit! Michael Westen is a badass!
By the way, who loves yogurt more? Michael Westen or Terry Jeffords (portrayed by Terry Crews) from Brooklyn Nine-Nine?
Think about that.
And screw this horrible trade offer! Anthony Davis is a beast.