The Wisest Fortune Cookie in the World

I ate some Chinese food and all I got was this lousy – whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute! What is this? This fortune cookie… is unbelievable.

Tell me more, Master Cookie.

Tell me more, Master Cookie.

When I cracked the cookie open, I expected to see yet another vaguely positive message that sounds funny if you include “in bed” at the end. You can imagine my surprise, then, when I found this little gem. If only all fortune cookies were like that!

Knowing the general public and how ridiculously stupid they are, fortune cookies this philosophical would probably cause a lot of strong reactions.

Fortune cookies are deceptive to begin with and it all starts with their origin story (which was pretty accurately covered in Iron Man 3, actually). As you can imagine, Chinese food in America is not exactly authentic – just like Italian and Mexican food. Not only does it generalize an entire country’s cuisine, but some stuff isn’t even Chinese to begin with. Fortune cookies fall in there as well.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. Good food is good and it really doesn’t matter how it came about (if we leave aside extreme variables). If you enjoy truly “authentic” ethnic cuisine, good for you. If you enjoy food that’s been Americanized or otherwise altered to fit certain criteria, that’s fine too.

There’s no “and the moral is” here; I just didn’t want to end this post right after John Malkovich cursing in disbelief.

Hey, at least you learned something new. Unless you knew already.

But perhaps I have given you the urge to consume copious amounts of food!

Muahaha!

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