How to Have an Awkward (SFW) World Cup Conversation with a Customer

The following is a transcript showing exactly what to do make a World Cup conversation awkward, yet safe for work.

Me: Hey there.

Customer: Hi!

Me: How are ya?

Customer: Good, you?

Me: Pretty good, thanks.

[brief silence]

Customer: You following the World Cup? The US is losing by one right now.

Me: Nah, I’m somebody who consistently ignores a sport I don’t care about. But I know South Korea plays today.

Customer: Haha I see.

[silence]

Me: How much time is left?

Customer: Oh about thirty minutes.

Me: Ah there’s still time.

Customer: Yeah, one can hope.

Me: Is Altidore still out?

Customer: Yeah, Clint Dempsey is out too.

Me: What? How?

Customer: I don’t know! He didn’t make the team or something.

Me: Wait, I thought he scored that quick goal against Ghana. The one thirty seconds in.

[customer frowns]

Customer: Hmm… I don’t know. Maybe I’ve got the guy mixed up or something –

Me: Oh you must mean Landon Donovan.

Customer: Oh yeah! That’s right.

Me: Yeah haha.

[brief silence]

Customer: Wait, I thought you don’t follow soccer.

Me: Oh, I don’t.

[silence]

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